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Youth Sports and Self Esteem March 16, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Healthy For Life, Just For Mom , add a comment

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Building the self esteem of children should be what sports is about.  Through varying degrees of success children grow and learn what it takes to be a great person, teammate and friend.  

Here are my 3 Keys to Building Self Esteem.

  1. It has to be Fun.
  2. Proper Coaching and Teaching.
  3. Confidence Breeds Success.

Introducing these keys are fundamental to having a great sports experience.

Fun... If they are having fun they will listen better.  If they are listening better they will learn more.  The more they learn the more confidence they will have in what they are doing.  Keep it simple and they can and will have success.  Just know at an early age fun is the key to any healthy activity.

Proper Coaching and Teaching… How kids are treated in their initial sports experience usually stays with them for a long time.  Teaching the kids the rules and the basic fundamentals of the sport are very important at this age.  The younger they learn the fundamentals the sooner they can start working on what it takes to get really good.  If their coach builds a solid foundation with fundamentals you will see your child’s self esteem grow. That will lead to more confidence.  That confidence then starts to spill over to other aspects of their life. 

Confidence Breeds Success … I am often asked, what’s the difference between self esteem and confidence?  That is a great question.  To me they go hand in hand.  I believe it starts with self esteem.  Self esteem is how you look at yourself.  If you see yourself having success then you work on things that will enhance your chance at success.  If you are negative and everything is a fight then it is difficult to ever reach your full potential.  Being coach-able and teachable gives your child a better chance to learn the skills it takes to have a great sports experience.  

Self Esteem builds Confidence, Confidence leads to Success and Success builds even more Self Esteem.  All three are equally important in building a life long work ethic.  Work Ethic is what we are hoping to teach childen through sports, the right way to do things. 

Mom Tip:  When your child is young encourage them to ask the coach any question that they may have.  Kids sometimes feel stupid if they think they are the only one who doesn’t know something.  If you see your child is a little confused make sure to talk to the coach after practice to clear up any questions.  The longer they go not knowing what to do the farther they get behind the other kids. 

God Bless

Darrell

Let The Kids Play ( Part 3) March 5, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Healthy For Life, Just For Mom , add a comment

Building Block No. 3

IT’S YOU !

That’s right I said it.  It’s You.

Of the 3 Building Blocks this is definitely the most important.  

The foundation for a successful future starts at home.  I don’t care what you call home or who calls who what. 

Money can’t buy what it takes to be successful.

What it takes to be successful comes from the heart and you can’t buy that.

Self Esteem, Confidence, Work Ethic, Willingness to Fail and Learning How to Win and Lose all starts at home.  Whoever has the power to influence our children controls what and how they think about these issues.  These issues control about 95% of your child’s thinking and how they respond to different situations.  If YOU are the greatest influence in their life then you have a major role in molding and shaping how they see the world.

Please stop and look at yourself, where do you stand on these issues? 

I found out the hard-way, through my life and through my kids, that life’s lessons are either Taught or Caught. 

Make sure You’re the teacher, before they catch life’s lessons from influences you can’t control.

When I work with Elite Athletes that have a chance to go to college or even play professionally most of the time I spend with them is preparing them mentally to handle all of the issues we have discussed in this post. 

So ask yourself how do you impact your child’s…

I will be tackling all these issues in future posts.  If you understand what your child is thinking and what they are looking for out of their sports experience you can look for resources that will help make it the best it can be.

Mom Tip:  You are the most important influence in your child’s life.  Don’t let television or video games be your baby sitter.  Daily habits start with YOU, if it is important to You it will be important to them.

God Bless,

Darrell

Let The Kids Play (Part 2) March 4, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Healthy For Life, Just For Mom , add a comment

Building Block No.2

Are We Having Fun, Yet

So you have found a sport that they are interested in.  Good Job!  You are on the right track to building a foundation for a healthy lifestyle.  Now comes the FUN part, fun can be defined differently depending on what age your child is.  So lets take a look at what your child is probably thinking depending what age group they fall under.

2 to 8 year olds.

Fun is the optimal word here.  The attention span of this age group is short to very short.  You goal here should be break activities down to small blocks of time.  If you have ever been to a t-ball baseball game you have probably noticed most of the kids are playing in the dirt in a matter of minutes.  With this age group safety is the key to making sure that they have as much fun as possible.

9 to 12 year olds.

Fundamentals are the key to having success with this age group.  If your child is playing competitive sports they should be focused on trying to learn the fundamentals of whatever sport their playing. 

At this age kids are their own worse critics.  Other teammates can have a real impact on this group.  Peer Pressure to win starts at this age.  You can start to see some attitude change if they are serious about playing a sport. 

These are the years that the competitive spirit is developed and you will know if your child is passionate about what they are doing.  Now is the time to find a good coach, trainer or mentor if your child show signs of excelling at a particular sport.  They can make a difference.

13 to 18 year olds.

Winning is everything.  I know you didn’t really want to hear that, but it is TRUE.  At this point they are probably competing at a High School or Prep School level.  Most of the kids playing at this level measure success by winning or at the very least by performing well.  

By this time in their sports career their role or position has probably been somewhat defined ( Though Not Always).  Your child should be able to talk to the coach and find out what the expectations are for themselves.  

This is also the age where young men and women are most sensitive to peer pressure.  They will not want you to fight their battles for them most of the time and you need to ask them what they want you to do. 

Mom Tip: If you think your child has a chance of going to college or pro you need to get a honest evaluation from a non-partisan outsider who will tell you the truth and what your athlete needs to work on to get to that level.

Stay Tuned for Part 3

God Bless,

Darrell

Let The Kids Play (Part 1) March 3, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Healthy For Life, Just For Mom , add a comment

Everyone is aware of the obesity problem that is plaguing our children today.  It is critical that you introduce the idea of healthy eating habits and exercise to your kids while they are young, the earlier the better.  It will instill habits that can and will last a lifetime if they feel that their health is a high priority in YOUR life. 

Now I am going to start the First Part of a Three Part Series on the 3 Building Blocks that will create a rock solid foundation for a healthy child. 

Building Block No. 1

What is Your Child Interested In?

This is huge!!  I know it sounds simple, but you would be surprised by how many children I have coached that didn’t want to play… period.  Every time I meet with the parents at the beginning of a new season I always ask why their child wanted to play what ever sport it is.  Within minutes I can tell whether the child wanted play or whether it was Mom or Dad. 

I am all for children trying different activities/sports but you have to take extra precaution when they are young, at an early age they aim more to please. So making you happy is very important to them.  They will play sports they don’t like because they think it is important to you.

Please take the time to make sure whatever sport you choose for your child to do that they have an interest in it. Life will be SOOOO much more peaceful if you don’t have to drag them to practice crying.

Mom Tip:  If your child starts something make them finish it.  There isn’t a worse habit in the world than making it easy for them to quit when something isn’t as easy as they want it to be.  Tell them that they don’t have to play next season but you should always finish what you start.

God Bless,

Darrell