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Mom, Are You A Fan or A Fanatic? April 5, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Just For Mom, What was I Thinking , 3comments

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These days I get a ton of questions about what is wrong with youth sports.  I think to honestly answer that question we need to find out why that question needs to be asked in the first place.  I don’t want this blog to become a soapbox for what’s wrong with sports today.  Yet I think it is a fair question any parent should ask themselves when deciding what extracurricular activities your child should participate in.  With that being said, let me ask you a few questions.

There is always a reason for playing sports.  The reason you want your child to play and the reason they want to play might not be the same.  But don’t let that keep you from encouraging them to participate anyway. If you understand what you want and what your child is looking for you will be more focused on finding a sport that is fun for them. 

The Answer to what is wrong with youth sports is…..

THE ADULTS.

Thats right you and me!!

Listen I am all for competition.  There probably isn’t a more competitive person than me.  Believe me when I say I am writing this to me as much as I am writing this for you.  As I spend more time listening to my kids than I do talking at my kids I realize to be an effective coach or just my kids biggest fan I need to get my priorities straight.

For some reason competition brings out the worst in some people.  You see good people act like fools and good kids lose their mind.  To be honest I don’t know if it will ever change.  I use to think it was just us guys trying to prove our manhood or trying to relive our lives through our kids. 

But over the last few years of coaching I have seen more and more MOMS go absolutely BONKERS in the crowd. I understand a mother’s instinct to protect their child and they should. 

BUT it can’t happen in the middle of a sporting event. 

I can hear you now. What!!! But it’s the truth.  When no one else in the world understands, kids want MOM to comfort and support them.

Thats why you have the toughest job in the world and the most rewarding.  Moms get to share experiences with their kids that us Dads will never get to.  

It has been my experience that my kids take coaching better from me than they do from their Mom.  They want Mom to tell them it is OK no matter whats happens in the game.

Hey I know its tough. 

So please share your experiences.  I think we all can learn from each other.

I look forward to hearing from you all soon.

God Bless,

Darrell

Mom, It’s Opening Day, Let’s Watch the Game April 1, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Baseball, Just For Mom , add a comment

It’s finally here. Opening Day for Baseball Season.  Every fan thinks their team can win the championship.  Excitement is in the air. The Cards are on T.V.

Mom I hope that you take a chance to sit down with your child and enjoy America’s Past-time.  It is a great opportunity to spend some quality time with our kids.

Tonight I have watched the Women’s NCAA Tourney with my daughter and as I write this my son just fell asleep watching the Cardinals. 

With all the things that seem to be wrong with pro sports today it gives us parents a chance to discuss some serious issues with our kids.  Tonight we talked about what it takes to be successful.  How hard it is to perform when a lot of people are watching.  What’s wrong with steroids. 10 year olds like to ask all kinds of questions.  And I love to answer them. 

Mom I think you will be surprised by your child’s reaction if you asked them to sit down and watch whatever sport they’re interested in.  If you are sincere about learning more about their interest they will open up to you as you ask more questions.  If you don’t know much about the sport ask a bunch of questions, they will love the fact that they are teaching you something and that you really care.

So Mom, Let’s watch some T.V. 

Your Kid will Love you for it.

God Bless,

Darrell

 

Youth Sports and Self Esteem March 16, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Healthy For Life, Just For Mom , add a comment

Building the self esteem of children should be what sports is about.  Through varying degrees of success children grow and learn what it takes to be a great person, teammate and friend.  

Here are my 3 Keys to Building Self Esteem.

  1. It has to be Fun.
  2. Proper Coaching and Teaching.
  3. Confidence Breeds Success.

Introducing these keys are fundamental to having a great sports experience.

Fun... If they are having fun they will listen better.  If they are listening better they will learn more.  The more they learn the more confidence they will have in what they are doing.  Keep it simple and they can and will have success.  Just know at an early age fun is the key to any healthy activity.

Proper Coaching and Teaching… How kids are treated in their initial sports experience usually stays with them for a long time.  Teaching the kids the rules and the basic fundamentals of the sport are very important at this age.  The younger they learn the fundamentals the sooner they can start working on what it takes to get really good.  If their coach builds a solid foundation with fundamentals you will see your child’s self esteem grow. That will lead to more confidence.  That confidence then starts to spill over to other aspects of their life. 

Confidence Breeds Success … I am often asked, what’s the difference between self esteem and confidence?  That is a great question.  To me they go hand in hand.  I believe it starts with self esteem.  Self esteem is how you look at yourself.  If you see yourself having success then you work on things that will enhance your chance at success.  If you are negative and everything is a fight then it is difficult to ever reach your full potential.  Being coach-able and teachable gives your child a better chance to learn the skills it takes to have a great sports experience.  

Self Esteem builds Confidence, Confidence leads to Success and Success builds even more Self Esteem.  All three are equally important in building a life long work ethic.  Work Ethic is what we are hoping to teach childen through sports, the right way to do things. 

Mom Tip:  When your child is young encourage them to ask the coach any question that they may have.  Kids sometimes feel stupid if they think they are the only one who doesn’t know something.  If you see your child is a little confused make sure to talk to the coach after practice to clear up any questions.  The longer they go not knowing what to do the farther they get behind the other kids. 

God Bless

Darrell

Let The Kids Play ( Part 3) March 5, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Healthy For Life, Just For Mom , add a comment

Building Block No. 3

IT’S YOU !

That’s right I said it.  It’s You.

Of the 3 Building Blocks this is definitely the most important.  

The foundation for a successful future starts at home.  I don’t care what you call home or who calls who what. 

Money can’t buy what it takes to be successful.

What it takes to be successful comes from the heart and you can’t buy that.

Self Esteem, Confidence, Work Ethic, Willingness to Fail and Learning How to Win and Lose all starts at home.  Whoever has the power to influence our children controls what and how they think about these issues.  These issues control about 95% of your child’s thinking and how they respond to different situations.  If YOU are the greatest influence in their life then you have a major role in molding and shaping how they see the world.

Please stop and look at yourself, where do you stand on these issues? 

I found out the hard-way, through my life and through my kids, that life’s lessons are either Taught or Caught. 

Make sure You’re the teacher, before they catch life’s lessons from influences you can’t control.

When I work with Elite Athletes that have a chance to go to college or even play professionally most of the time I spend with them is preparing them mentally to handle all of the issues we have discussed in this post. 

So ask yourself how do you impact your child’s…

I will be tackling all these issues in future posts.  If you understand what your child is thinking and what they are looking for out of their sports experience you can look for resources that will help make it the best it can be.

Mom Tip:  You are the most important influence in your child’s life.  Don’t let television or video games be your baby sitter.  Daily habits start with YOU, if it is important to You it will be important to them.

God Bless,

Darrell

Let The Kids Play (Part 2) March 4, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Healthy For Life, Just For Mom , add a comment

Building Block No.2

Are We Having Fun, Yet

So you have found a sport that they are interested in.  Good Job!  You are on the right track to building a foundation for a healthy lifestyle.  Now comes the FUN part, fun can be defined differently depending on what age your child is.  So lets take a look at what your child is probably thinking depending what age group they fall under.

2 to 8 year olds.

Fun is the optimal word here.  The attention span of this age group is short to very short.  You goal here should be break activities down to small blocks of time.  If you have ever been to a t-ball baseball game you have probably noticed most of the kids are playing in the dirt in a matter of minutes.  With this age group safety is the key to making sure that they have as much fun as possible.

9 to 12 year olds.

Fundamentals are the key to having success with this age group.  If your child is playing competitive sports they should be focused on trying to learn the fundamentals of whatever sport their playing. 

At this age kids are their own worse critics.  Other teammates can have a real impact on this group.  Peer Pressure to win starts at this age.  You can start to see some attitude change if they are serious about playing a sport. 

These are the years that the competitive spirit is developed and you will know if your child is passionate about what they are doing.  Now is the time to find a good coach, trainer or mentor if your child show signs of excelling at a particular sport.  They can make a difference.

13 to 18 year olds.

Winning is everything.  I know you didn’t really want to hear that, but it is TRUE.  At this point they are probably competing at a High School or Prep School level.  Most of the kids playing at this level measure success by winning or at the very least by performing well.  

By this time in their sports career their role or position has probably been somewhat defined ( Though Not Always).  Your child should be able to talk to the coach and find out what the expectations are for themselves.  

This is also the age where young men and women are most sensitive to peer pressure.  They will not want you to fight their battles for them most of the time and you need to ask them what they want you to do. 

Mom Tip: If you think your child has a chance of going to college or pro you need to get a honest evaluation from a non-partisan outsider who will tell you the truth and what your athlete needs to work on to get to that level.

Stay Tuned for Part 3

God Bless,

Darrell

Let The Kids Play (Part 1) March 3, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Healthy For Life, Just For Mom , add a comment

Everyone is aware of the obesity problem that is plaguing our children today.  It is critical that you introduce the idea of healthy eating habits and exercise to your kids while they are young, the earlier the better.  It will instill habits that can and will last a lifetime if they feel that their health is a high priority in YOUR life. 

Now I am going to start the First Part of a Three Part Series on the 3 Building Blocks that will create a rock solid foundation for a healthy child. 

Building Block No. 1

What is Your Child Interested In?

This is huge!!  I know it sounds simple, but you would be surprised by how many children I have coached that didn’t want to play… period.  Every time I meet with the parents at the beginning of a new season I always ask why their child wanted to play what ever sport it is.  Within minutes I can tell whether the child wanted play or whether it was Mom or Dad. 

I am all for children trying different activities/sports but you have to take extra precaution when they are young, at an early age they aim more to please. So making you happy is very important to them.  They will play sports they don’t like because they think it is important to you.

Please take the time to make sure whatever sport you choose for your child to do that they have an interest in it. Life will be SOOOO much more peaceful if you don’t have to drag them to practice crying.

Mom Tip:  If your child starts something make them finish it.  There isn’t a worse habit in the world than making it easy for them to quit when something isn’t as easy as they want it to be.  Tell them that they don’t have to play next season but you should always finish what you start.

God Bless,

Darrell

Single Mom, Help is on the Way March 1, 2008

Posted by Darrell in : Just For Mom , add a comment

My name is Darrell Coulter and for years now I have been wanting to create some form of an outreach to help single / divorced moms with any or all of their sports related questions. 

Through out 15 years of coaching youth Football, Baseball, Boys and Girls AAU Basketball and Girls Softball you would have thought that I would have heard just about any question that could be raised, yet every year I get someone brings up another interesting situation that needs to be addressed.

Through this blog my prayer is that I will not only be able to help you find an answer to your questions, but to build a community that is bigger than sports, that  inspires all of us to reach out and help a friend, a neighbor or even a stranger that needs that special touch that only you can give.

I am going to start posting answers to some of the most frequent questions I get asked.  I think you will be surprised by the type of questions that a lot of the moms I talk to have.  I want you to know that no question is out of bounds ( ha ha)  and that I will attempt to answer every question either through a post or by replying to your email.  

So let me know what your looking for and together we can make your child’s sports experience the best it can be.