Mom, Are You A Fan or A Fanatic? April 5, 2008
Posted by Darrell in : Just For Mom, What was I Thinking , trackbackIf you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
These days I get a ton of questions about what is wrong with youth sports. I think to honestly answer that question we need to find out why that question needs to be asked in the first place. I don’t want this blog to become a soapbox for what’s wrong with sports today. Yet I think it is a fair question any parent should ask themselves when deciding what extracurricular activities your child should participate in. With that being said, let me ask you a few questions.
- As a parent what are you looking for out of the sport?
- Are you looking for a babysitter for a hour or so?
- Are you looking for a coach to be a Role Model?
- Are you looking for your child to get a lot of exercise?
There is always a reason for playing sports. The reason you want your child to play and the reason they want to play might not be the same. But don’t let that keep you from encouraging them to participate anyway. If you understand what you want and what your child is looking for you will be more focused on finding a sport that is fun for them.
The Answer to what is wrong with youth sports is…..
THE ADULTS.
Thats right you and me!!
Listen I am all for competition. There probably isn’t a more competitive person than me. Believe me when I say I am writing this to me as much as I am writing this for you. As I spend more time listening to my kids than I do talking at my kids I realize to be an effective coach or just my kids biggest fan I need to get my priorities straight.
For some reason competition brings out the worst in some people. You see good people act like fools and good kids lose their mind. To be honest I don’t know if it will ever change. I use to think it was just us guys trying to prove our manhood or trying to relive our lives through our kids.
But over the last few years of coaching I have seen more and more MOMS go absolutely BONKERS in the crowd. I understand a mother’s instinct to protect their child and they should.
BUT it can’t happen in the middle of a sporting event.
- First of all you are going to embarass your child unbelievably.
- If you don’t know what your talking about you are going to sound ridiculous.
- Like it or not, kids count on MOM being the rational, supportive and the completely understanding parent.
I can hear you now. What!!! But it’s the truth. When no one else in the world understands, kids want MOM to comfort and support them.
Thats why you have the toughest job in the world and the most rewarding. Moms get to share experiences with their kids that us Dads will never get to.
It has been my experience that my kids take coaching better from me than they do from their Mom. They want Mom to tell them it is OK no matter whats happens in the game.
Hey I know its tough.
So please share your experiences. I think we all can learn from each other.
I look forward to hearing from you all soon.
God Bless,
Darrell
Comments»
We are still in the 9/10 play offs. My son has had the same 8 coaches for the last 5 years. My son is extremely confident, fast and typically excels. The problem is none of the 8 coaches will allow him to excell as if he is a threat to all of their sons. It does not help that he is very ADHD and does show his emotions. Yet every year my child becomes the whipping child. They can tell you every error he has ever made. I must admit I get tired of these grown men yelling at my son, as their kids are sometimes making three times the errors. And all of the coaches kids cry if they strike out or get removed from the pitchers mound. Being a single mom it is as if my son has to try 3 times harder. They have admitted to me that they know he is most athlectic of all his circle of 8 years. It is as if they are trying to eliminate any threats of those that might take a middle school position or even a high school position from one of their kids. The problem is they are only in 3rd grade. The coaches in this small town take their sports seriously. I found that if their kids are not excelling, the worse it gets. I am frustrated, I can not begin to cover all the great stories of this season and last season. I just keep telling my child to hold on until he is about 13, hopefully this will change. This is true for him in baseball and football. He did get the most skulls for last season. The good news though we did not have to watch the kids get picked for an all star team that consists of about 10 of the coaches kids and maybe two that are not coaches kids. What is up with this and why is it allowed. It becomes a joke to the parents that are not coaching.
Cathy,
Sorry it took so long to respond. I have been on the road and out of sight of my laptop.
I also grew up in a small town and the politics of the town can be unbelievable. I would encourage you to keep the most positive attitude that you can. As much as I would like to tell you it will get better it might not. But the older the kids get the harder it is for coaches to keep playing their own kids. The truth is by the time they are teenagers the kids will know who the better players are themselves. If winning is as important as we all know it is, the coach will start playing the best players.
The key to this is that you keep on playing and working hard to get as good as you possibly can. Being patient in a time like this can be very frustrating, but I promise you if you child is as good as he sounds he is, he will get the playing time he deserves. Just stay away from bitterness and have you child out work all the other kids.
He will feel better from earning his rewards the right way.
Let me know how it goes.
Hang in there,
Darrell
Yes, you WILL embarrass your child if you act up in the game and believe it or not you’re NOT helping when you go bonkers in the stands during the game! Oh, and never, EVER publicly put down someone else’s kid during the game. That’s just asking for trouble.